


Of hours in the Hallway

by Jeaven



Series: Existential Crisis [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan having an Existential Crisis, Dan just thinks too much, Existential Crisis, Fluff, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil is awesome, hurt Dan, stable relationship, very minor angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9122107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeaven/pseuds/Jeaven
Summary: Dan has an existential crisis and ends up in the hallway. Phil comforts him, and fluff ensues.





	

**Of hours in the hallway**

Dan stared at the carpet beneath him.

He'd already lost track of how long he'd been laying there. His last memory was wandering out of his room - already mostly on auto-pilot - and flopping down face-first onto the floor.

From that on, his memories were a blur of thoughts that were spiraling out of control.

It had started so simple.

He'd been on YouTube, jumping from one viral video to another, wondering how on earth those plain and mostly just stupid videos managed to get so many views. And then had come that fateful moment when he'd asked himself why big numbers were even that important. Why did people care so much about views? Then he'd wondered if it was because it meant those videos reached many people, and with the short and in comparison insignificant lifespans of humans, it seemed even more impressive.

And from then on Dan was lost in a train of thought that rushed into complete darkness. And as usual, he was helpless.

Why did anything matter what he did? Sure, he had a pretty successful YouTube channel, but compared to the whole universe, it was completely meaningless. There were millions, billions of people alive just in that moment alone, and there had been so many more lives on this planet - almost none of them memorable. Who said that he wouldn't end up that way?

A grave that nobody even bothered to look after.

And even worse: everyone he knew would suffer the same fate. And he was powerless to stop it. Come to think about it, he was powerless to do _anything_. Against everything around him, he just wasn't in the position to change anything. Nobody was, really.

  
"Dan?"

The voice seemed to be far away and dull, as if underwater.

He didn't move or speak.

Vaguely, he noticed Phil's presence right next to him as his flatmate crouched down and shook his shoulders lightly. "Dan, you have to stand up."

_Why?_

He heard Phil sigh. "What's going through your head, hm?"

Dan struggled to find the motivation to speak. Answering Phil seemed so unimportant to him it wasn't worth the effort. Just like everything else he was supposed to do today.

Phil finally sat down on the floor next to him, resting his back against the wall. He always did that, when his boyfriend wasn't able to talk to him. He didn't say anything. Everything Dan needed to know had already been said a thousand times before.

_It's okay._

_Take your time._

_I'm not going anywhere._

And maybe it was Phil's unspoken promise that finally gave Dan the energy to talk, even if he still didn't quite believed it made any difference.

"Everything is insignificant," he mumbled. "Compared to the whole universe, my life is pointless."

He heard Phil breathe out deeply. "You can't compare yourself to the whole universe, Dan. That's not fair."

Dan laughed a bit, humorlessly. "Life's not fair," he murmured into the carpet. "We're all going to die at some point and from that moment on everything we did doesn't matter anymore."

"You have over six million subscribers, bear" Phil answered, his voice not annoyed, like Dan expected it to be, but rather sad. "People aren't going to just forget you."

It was the old nickname that stirred something in him. Dan tentatively lifted his head to look at Phil, who was sitting right next to him, with a worried expression on his face. "Eventually they will," he answered tiredly.

Phil sighed and began to gently stroke Dan's hair. " _I'm_ not going to forget you."

Dan would've laughed at the cheesy comment in a different situation, but in that moment he stayed silent and searched Phil's face for an indication that he was lying.

"I love you," Phil added upon noticing Dan's hesitation. "And to me, you are important and always will be."

Slowly, like something would break if he moved too fast, Dan propped himself up. Phil gripped his shoulders to help him, and as soon as Dan was eye-level with him, tugged him tightly against his chest to give him a long, warm hug. Dan gratefully relaxed into his boyfriend's arms and let himself rest against his chest.

"You okay?" Phil whispered into his ear.

"Getting there," Dan replied dully.

Phil shuffled away from him a little bit so that they could look into each other's eyes. "I love you, and I'm here for you, don't ever forget that, okay?"

Dan smiled as his chest was once again filled with gratefulness. "I won't," he whispered, and as soon as the last word left his mouth, Phil bent down to kiss him.

Dan immediately melted against his boyfriend's lips and sighed happily as the kiss got more deep and Phil'a fingers gently caressed his cheeks.

"You ready to stand up now?" Phil asked as they finally parted.

"Yeah," Dan said, smiling a bit. "Yeah I think so."


End file.
